Friday, 16 November 2012

Hugo & Krista, sittin in a tree...

I don't usually post about imbeciles like Hugo Schwyzer, and the next time I post about Krista Jane Heflin aka the Femitheist Divine will be to celebrate when she stops flaking out on suicide and really kicks the bucket.

But I mention them both today, because I am doing a public service. Men and women of earth, we can be forever rid of these two spazzes, simply by convincing them to shack up together.

I realized they're perfect for each other when I stumbled upon Hugo's latest post (hat tip Chuck Rudd), entitled 'Why Men Should Be Willing To Die For Women.' Hugo begins by spinning a yarn about his supplicating beta days of yore, when he gushed over his pity fuck du jour and promised to lay down his life for her:
As we walked out of the theater to grab an ice cream, my 17-year-old self said to my 16-year-old girlfriend something along the lines of “You know, I really would die for you.”  I was hoping for wide-eyed gratitude; what I got was a gently cynical smile that belied her years.

“Hugo,” she said, “that’s really sweet. But that’s such an easy thing for guys to say.” I remember that I protested ineffectually
No really, Hugo? But you strike me as such an effectual kinda guy.

Hugo's article is the usual tripe we've come to expect, relying on scant and selective evidence, mythological allusions, and the oddly patriarchal assertion that sex is something that men "do" to women. At one point he states that
Women had no more right to refuse their husbands than a low-ranking soldier had to disobey an order from an officer
without stopping to identify when or where this was the case. Anyway, the gist of it is that men dying for women is very nice, but it's an obligation, not a noble sacrifice.

This immediately made me think of the Femitheist Divine, because she would be in complete agreement with Hugo here. She certainly believes that men have an obligation to die for the sake of women - all men, in fact! - except for a lucky few who would be permanently restrained and fed the bare minimum to survive, retained only for the purposes of breeding and showing little girls how horrible male animals are:
We will keep a small portion of men alive, so that when young girls ask: “Were they truly as horrible as you say?”, we can show them the hideous beasts, which live like rats in the darkest of cellars and subsurface prisons.

We will keep them for breeding, until they are too old to breed, and we will put them to death when their purpose has been fulfilled. They will not be educated, and they will be fed the bare minimum, with proficient restraints to keep them in their place. Their own access to anyone other than themselves will be for the purpose of sample collections, and nothing more.
Sound good, Hugo? It's for the sake of women, after all. How could you possibly refuse?

Granted, I'm not sure if Hugo would go along with her stances on the disabled, homosexuals, intersex people, and women who disagree with her about anything (she would kill all of those people too). But maybe he wouldn't have so much of a problem with her castration fetish. Hugo already had a piece of his penis cut off as a 'present' for his new wife:
when I met the woman who is now my wife and fell in love with her, I began to wish that I could offer her something radically new about me.  And it occurred to me one day that getting circumcised would be something tangible I could do to provide an outer manifestation of my sexual rebirth.   My wife would thus be the only woman with whom I had made love with that particular penis, as it were.
Krista, on the other hand, is suffering from severe mental issues that could perhaps be ameliorated if she had one man to herself, to take her rage out on.

They're perfect for each other! They are Eros and Thanatos personified, a sado-masochistic match made in hell. If we could somehow convince Hugo and Krista to settle down together, they could dispel all their pent-up aggression in a series of explosive, genital-mutilating, fem-dom lovemaking sessions, and then they wouldn't have to write such stupid shit any more.

- Mojo

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