Friday, 16 November 2012

Hugo & Krista, sittin in a tree...

I don't usually post about imbeciles like Hugo Schwyzer, and the next time I post about Krista Jane Heflin aka the Femitheist Divine will be to celebrate when she stops flaking out on suicide and really kicks the bucket.

But I mention them both today, because I am doing a public service. Men and women of earth, we can be forever rid of these two spazzes, simply by convincing them to shack up together.

I realized they're perfect for each other when I stumbled upon Hugo's latest post (hat tip Chuck Rudd), entitled 'Why Men Should Be Willing To Die For Women.' Hugo begins by spinning a yarn about his supplicating beta days of yore, when he gushed over his pity fuck du jour and promised to lay down his life for her:
As we walked out of the theater to grab an ice cream, my 17-year-old self said to my 16-year-old girlfriend something along the lines of “You know, I really would die for you.”  I was hoping for wide-eyed gratitude; what I got was a gently cynical smile that belied her years.

“Hugo,” she said, “that’s really sweet. But that’s such an easy thing for guys to say.” I remember that I protested ineffectually
No really, Hugo? But you strike me as such an effectual kinda guy.

Hugo's article is the usual tripe we've come to expect, relying on scant and selective evidence, mythological allusions, and the oddly patriarchal assertion that sex is something that men "do" to women. At one point he states that
Women had no more right to refuse their husbands than a low-ranking soldier had to disobey an order from an officer
without stopping to identify when or where this was the case. Anyway, the gist of it is that men dying for women is very nice, but it's an obligation, not a noble sacrifice.

This immediately made me think of the Femitheist Divine, because she would be in complete agreement with Hugo here. She certainly believes that men have an obligation to die for the sake of women - all men, in fact! - except for a lucky few who would be permanently restrained and fed the bare minimum to survive, retained only for the purposes of breeding and showing little girls how horrible male animals are:
We will keep a small portion of men alive, so that when young girls ask: “Were they truly as horrible as you say?”, we can show them the hideous beasts, which live like rats in the darkest of cellars and subsurface prisons.

We will keep them for breeding, until they are too old to breed, and we will put them to death when their purpose has been fulfilled. They will not be educated, and they will be fed the bare minimum, with proficient restraints to keep them in their place. Their own access to anyone other than themselves will be for the purpose of sample collections, and nothing more.
Sound good, Hugo? It's for the sake of women, after all. How could you possibly refuse?

Granted, I'm not sure if Hugo would go along with her stances on the disabled, homosexuals, intersex people, and women who disagree with her about anything (she would kill all of those people too). But maybe he wouldn't have so much of a problem with her castration fetish. Hugo already had a piece of his penis cut off as a 'present' for his new wife:
when I met the woman who is now my wife and fell in love with her, I began to wish that I could offer her something radically new about me.  And it occurred to me one day that getting circumcised would be something tangible I could do to provide an outer manifestation of my sexual rebirth.   My wife would thus be the only woman with whom I had made love with that particular penis, as it were.
Krista, on the other hand, is suffering from severe mental issues that could perhaps be ameliorated if she had one man to herself, to take her rage out on.

They're perfect for each other! They are Eros and Thanatos personified, a sado-masochistic match made in hell. If we could somehow convince Hugo and Krista to settle down together, they could dispel all their pent-up aggression in a series of explosive, genital-mutilating, fem-dom lovemaking sessions, and then they wouldn't have to write such stupid shit any more.

- Mojo

Fuck white nationalists.

Loathe though I am to attack anyone on my blogroll, especially those who link to me, thus providing me with sweet, sweet traffic (the electronic ambrosia that all narcissists bloggers seek), the time has come for me to say a big fuck you to the white nationalists among us.

Look, I'm a contrarian. I am naturally inclined to question, to satirize, and to cynically tear down other people's efforts - most of all whatever society, and especially the state, declares to be truth. But any unfalsifiable belief with a significant following - otherwise known as a cult - is fair game for my poison pen.

First, let's discuss what we agree on. Let's talk about political correctness. PC is problematic, because in establishing one unquestionable truth, alternative views are stamped out, either through state coercion or social pressure - hard or soft control over free thought and expression.

As an individualist, I rebuke the suggestion that I or anyone else should simply fall in line with any belief whatsoever just because it's what the crowd thinks. I even have an problem verbalizing assent to popular mantras that seem reasonable - equality of opportunity, for instance - because all the people who speak enthusiastically about these things are dead-eyed zombie stormtroopers, little Eichmanns congenitally predisposed to obey their masters and zealously attack anyone who jars their precious worldview by having an independent thought.

I hate them.

If you can understand that, then you'll understand why I was open-minded towards those who stood against multiculti and open borders insanity. Yes, whites are being depopulated and/or 'race-replaced' within their own countries by left (and right)-wing governments and NGOs intent on destroying white cultures. Yes, the mainstream media deliberately upholds racial double standards, routinely covering up for black flash mobs. Yes, government departments fudge the stats to make it appear that black crime is lower than it is, and claim that whites need to be disadvantaged through "affirmative" action because society is RACIST.

All of this is true and more. The anti-racist lobby, which government and society looks to for moral guidance on all issues of race, consists of the most virulently racist people on the planet - hypocrites to a man, they hold a deep hatred for Caucasians that by far outweighs white historical prejudice.

That's all true, and, to a point, does justify white nationalism. White people have the right to defend themselves, to secure their existence and their future - just like every other race of people. Nobody questions the right of black people to secure their existence and future. It would be un-PC to suggest that black people don't have every right to do this. The same holds true for every race except for whites.

And yes indeed, if you're white then you can't bring any of these issues up without someone pointing fingers at you and shouting DAS RACIST. Here's how the establishment typically deals with these matters:

It's the zealotry and hypocrisy of the establishment that made me add a bunch of white nationalist blogs to my blogroll - I want to hear other views, particularly heretical ones. I suspect the establishment has decreed them heretical because they disseminate their own truths, which threaten to undermine the official narrative.

Everything I've talked about above is true enough and worthy of outrage. But then we get onto the white nationalists themselves.

You guys are a bunch of fucking fruit loops, and you go too far.

When you're criticizing the system for being racist against your people, about the dumbest thing you can do is to commit the same offence. I took Metapedia off my links list when I realized it's just anti-Jew shit, and not the kind of alternative encyclopedia proposed by Mencius Moldbug.

The last straws for me were the following comments at Mindweapons in Ragnarok. Ryu gives insight into how his white utopia will be administered:
Alot of people want a white ethnostate without wanting what its going to take to achieve and maintain it. It will be a military state, as the rest of the world opposes it. It will be totalitarian, in our favor.
Mindweapon on Jared Taylor's tolerance for miscegenation:
I sure disagree with him about outlawing race-mixing. I would outlaw it, and the punishment would be deportation. Actually, in my ethnostate, race mixing would be all but impossible, but anyone who did it would be deported to some rainbow state.
I had hoped that white nationalists weren't just neo-Nazi boneheads, but here they are gleefully plotting new, racially pure, totalitarian regimes.

If your ideal society doesn't let me speak my mind and fuck whichever consenting adults I please, then you've already lost me.

Speaking of which, the other reason I can't really abide white nationalists is their following mantra:
Because the beauty of the White Aryan women must not perish from the earth.
You can try to tell me that feminism is an invention of the Great ZOG and those poor, misandric white women are just brainwashed idiots, but that doesn't really make sense when you consider 1) white women are grown adults who make their own decisions, and are accountable for making bad ones, and 2) Judaism itself is becoming increasingly feminized.

Nobody is brainwashed. How individuals behave is ultimately a matter of personal choice. Needless to say, I'm not about to join you in your moral crusade to save the beauty of the White Aryan woman. I'd rather reap the benefits of immigration and deep-dick Asian hotties, if it's all the same to you. Which, of course, it's not. But fuck you, so there.
There's a very good reason why white nationalists don't need to feel guilty about popping covert boners over Eastern babes like Misa Campo: their own women are easily tempted by black men. I don't mean white women; I mean white nationalist women. Here are some quotes from white nationalist women, that Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech preserved:
Sorry, fellas – it’s not women that have to please you – you have to please, and lure in women.
Yup. It’s true. My 9 year old nephew has better social skills, than do 90% of you.


As a White American Woman. Who talks to a lot of other White American women. Who have HAD IT with snarky, juvenile, insulting socially-cretinous WN men.


Many, many of the comments reveal the precise nature of the problem – the boorishness, childishness, and social inpetitude of American males.

Once again, fellas – the onus is on YOU to please women. Not the other way around. Ghetto Negroes have better wooing, and flirtation skills, than so many White males. A lot of you guys are beyond pathetic. You really have nothing to offer females of any Race. A lot of you have very little money, and you are not as physically attractive as you flatter yourselves to be.
Somehow, I don't get the feeling that these particular white nationalist women are outliers. And yet white nationalist men will continue to supplicate to them.

To be a chivalrist in an age of female sexual licence is to ask to be cuckolded. And that's why I could never belong to a movement so strongly reeking of betatude. I am sure that the white nationalist preoccupation with miscegenation is really a fear of the black man/white woman pair bonding. Check out Ryu's comment at Eradica:
That’s been one of the biggest changes I’ve seen in myself since becoming a WN – a visceral reaction to white women with men of other races. I believe that this “disgust” is one of best tells for checking if a man is a WN or not. It’s like a giant middle finger in the face of the white man.
Strangely enough, I don't feel that a black man with a white woman is a giant middle finger in my face, but I suppose that's because I'm ZOG or a member of the Frankfurt School or whatever other ridiculous conspiracy white nationalists will pull out of their pasty asses to justify their claims.

There's also the fact that white nationalists want white women to trap white men with 'oops' pregnancies, which, as a man, I find abhorrent. It's pretty obvious that white nationalists have no actual regard for the autonomy and liberty of white people whatsoever - at least, not for white men.

It doesn't matter to me whether it's feminists or white nationalists who make me pay child support for a kid I didn't want - the end result does not work in my favor. Speaking of which, the Women's Ku Klux Klan was basically a precursor to modern feminism in its language, ideas and action, and the WKKK and Suffragette movements were heavily connected - not something you'll ever hear a third-wave genderslut admit to, obviously.

A friend to misandry is no friend of mine. It's a shame, because some of the basic white nationalist ideas make sense, but the people behind the movement are just as deluded and cultlike as the activists responsible for radical multiculturalism and open borders immigration policy. The tipping point for me is that, as one who is prone to scepticism regarding received wisdom, I would not be tolerated in their totalitarian white utopia.

- Mojo

The mosquitos, they will rape me in my sleep.

We're having a heatwave right now in the UK. And with a heatwave comes two unpleasant things: fats sweat more, and mosquitos.

Enough about the fats. We have the rest of our lives to fisk them and their greedy, lazy worthlessness. Besides, fats don't bother me in my own home. They don't come flying in through my window in the middle of summer. And although I might joke about it, I don't genuinely fear that a fat might get so hungry that he tries to eat me.

Not so for the mosquitos.

Every summer it's the same. You have to open the windows or you'll suffocate. But that's just what they want you to do. Like minitaure vampires, these little flying bloodsuckers have to be invited in.
And so there comes a day, each summer, when I settle down to sleep, but then I hear it.
That unmistakeable high-pitched drone.
BzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz ...
And it won't stop. For some reason they go nuts when I turn off the light.
And of course, as soon as I turn it back on again, they stop flying and land where they are - on some obscure wall fixing or skirting board, where I can't see them.
So begins the midnight summer mosquito massacre.
It's never just one of the bastards. I have to launch an entire holocaust just to be able to get some rest. Half an hour and a vicious killing spree later, I think, maybe I won't hear that dreaded buzzing again when I turn out the light. But you can never quite be sure.
Why don't I ignore it, and just go to sleep? Because it just so happens to be the time of year when it gets too hot to use the cover in bed. I am asleep, defenceless, utterly exposed to them and their evil plots to pierce my naked flesh and steal my blood.
They fucking cut me, and steal my blood. What the fuck?
I realized today that this must be how it feels to be a beautiful young feminist walking alone at night past a pack of carnivorous, necrophiliac, penis-wielding, inferior genetic mutations commonly known as men. Much like the feminist who is almost-raped when a man asks her for coffee in an elevator, I am totally vulnerable to the predations of these disgusting animals as they look for any chance to penetrate my virtuous body.
All mosquitos are rapists, and that's all they are. If Susan Brownmiller can bravely denigrate an entire demographic, then surely I can cast aspersions of a similar kind against my own assailants. Although I do happen to know that it's actually only female mosquitos that bite you and suck your blood. The mansquitos just fly around, chilling out and probably eating berries and shit.
I was going to draw the inevitable analogy, but then I found out Dick Masterson already did that and even pre-dated my use of 'mansquito.'
Women and mosquitoes both:
1. Suck your blood.
2. Hate “bananas”.
3. Never stop buzzing in your fucking ears.
Incredible. I wish he was still writing.

- Mojo

MRAs would lay wreaths at Hitler's bunker.

Matt Forney has posted in agreement with me about the radfem suicide thing and how goddamn pathetic it is for anyone to feel sorry for her. Someone also linked to my blog on r/mensrights for the first time, calling me a "contradictory blogger" trying to blame MRAs for something or other.

I'm now basically convinced that the suicide was a hoax (the site Matt links to can be updated by anyone), although I do not believe the feminazi herself was a mere 'persona.' She's just abandoning the blog because MRAs gave her hell.

And that's what I thought was great about this whole thing - unlike Matt Forney, I genuinely appreciate the activism of Paul Elam and the others at A Voice for Men. My disappointment stemmed from the reaction of the MRA community following the reported radfem suicide.

Here was a radfem whose ideology was essentially the equivalent of Nazism - perhaps worse - and who saw fit to dehumanize and write atrocious things about half the human race, then expressed surprise at people objecting to her views.

MRAs, you not only piled onto her blog to attack, you tracked down her identity and employer, got her fired, and cost her any future employment by ensuring that her genocidal ravings shall forever be tied to her name. Your merciless hounding of this bona fide femi-Nazi put her in such a dark place that the only way out, as far as she could see, was to end her life.

That sounds like textbook FTSU to me.

But then, rather than celebrate your epic victory over the forces of evil, you began BAWWW'ing about how all life is precious and nobody deserves such a fate!

A little perspective is in order. This is the game feminists have been running on men for decades. Pin unacceptable, politically incorrect views to him, slander his character, get him fired, maybe put him in prison, and cripple his chances of any future employment, or of access to his kids, etc.

I scarcely need to remind any of you about the high male suicide rate.

My only reaction to the news of a radfem suicide was to hope that other radfems find the strength to honestly self-appraise and then eat a bullet like their spiritual and ideological progenitor.

Everyone was so quick to call the radfem a sick sack of scum while she was alive. What changed when she became (allegedly) a dead sick sack of scum? Alive or dead, sick sacks of scum are not deserving of sympathy. I for one am not a Nazi sympathizer.

The reaction of MRAs at places like A Voice for Men and r/mensrights makes me think that most MRAs would lay wreaths at Hitler's bunker upon hearing of his suicide. All life is precious, right guys?

Go back to my last post on the radfem's suicide and read what she says about how feminists are weakening men, making them less then they are, so that they are more susceptible to the final wrath of women.

Now ask yourself what that means when your reaction to her reported death is to mourn her.

That is how much they have already weakened you - you are all still playing the chivalrous gents, seeing her suicide as some great tragedy rather than a cause for relief and celebration.

Apologising? Trying to deflect responsibility? That just shows how pussified you've already become. How submissive and grovelling they have made you in preparation for their 'final vengeance' - which obviously won't ever actually happen; but they're still trying to pacify you.

Ritalin, harassment lawsuits, family courts - do I need to remind you guys of all this stuff? They use the force of state - omnipotent and unconquerable - to pacify and weaken men. That wasn't some future plan that the radfem dreamed up. She was quite explicit that this is already going on.

Don't be a pussy. Man up and go on the offensive. Expose those radfems. We have more names, courtesy of Agent Orange. Do not turn the other cheek, like Jesus; be like the epic hero Achilles, slayer of the Amazons!

You guys are honing the craft of Fucking Their Shit Up. Keep it up, and more importantly, own it.

- Mojo

The blue pill is strong in this one.

Apparently, some radical feminist who wrote nasty screeds about killing and mutilating men and boys committed suicide. This is unconfirmed (if Paul Elam has any real evidence then he's not sharing).

Witness the 'red pill MRAs' of A Voice for Men lamenting the loss of this sweet, pure, angelic angel in the comments.

This is why your movement isn't getting anywhere, guys - you're not angry enough.

You're not even close. You're not even close to close. You just ask for coercive, anti-male behavioral codes when the death of a dangerous, extremist misandrist is met with tears and sympathy rather than joyous laughter.

And you think you're the red pill takers? Pfft. You guys are still popping blues. It's one thing to not dance on a grave, quite another to wail about the terrible tragedy the world has suffered because one poor innocent little girl didn't get the help she needs.

Oh, cruel world! R.I.P. princess.

Get a fucking grip, guys. If this isn't a hoax, we're one monster down. The red pill reaction looks more like this:

Think this is in bad taste? Then perhaps you'd like to read a sample of Femitheist's Divine's writings:
We must show men that they are worthless and useless, like lapping dogs at our heels. Begging, starving, dying, and whining up to the hand that feeds – our hand. Yet, we will not feed them. We will slap them down, and throw them outside to die.
We will re-define the world, and create am ambience which utterly loathes and abhors everything that is male, and embraces and loves everything that is female.


We destroy everything about them that is male. We pacify, we condemn, we castrate, we feminize, and we lessen them enough so that they are more susceptible to our justified vengeance and wrath than they already are. This is happening now, and it will continue in the future.


Along with men, we shall eliminate the handicapped, and the disabled (any form, mental or physical), including the abominations that are “intersexual” people, commonly, and incorrectly, referred to as hermaphrodites. Eugenics is the future, and not only are these types of people an economic, mental, physical and emotional strain on themselves and others, generating misery for all around them, but they are a blemish to the genetics of humankind. We will take our evolution into our own hands, and we will rid the world of all vermin.

Homosexual men, for being the greatest of misogynists by being naturally inclined to hate women and find them unattractive, shall be put to death. There will be no exceptions, ever. Even for a man who is only partially skewed. They are all bound forever to the collective. Every individual male, offender or inoffensive, will be judged by the actions of the greatest perpetrators.


We will keep a small portion of men alive, so that when young girls ask: “Were they truly as horrible as you say?”, we can show them the hideous beasts, which live like rats in the darkest of cellars and subsurface prisons.

We will keep them for breeding, until they are too old to breed, and we will put them to death when their purpose has been fulfilled. They will not be educated, and they will be fed the bare minimum, with proficient restraints to keep them in their place. Their own access to anyone other than themselves will be for the purpose of sample collections, and nothing more.


And, for women who are forever indoctrinated, or mentally ill, there will be no protection by these claims. If they cannot be reformed or treated, they will be sentenced to death. There is no excuse for it. It is a sad loss, but it is necessary to create the New World.
There's more - a lot more - but it just goes on and on like this so there's no point in adding to the copypasta.

But this post is in bad taste, right? It sure is a tragedy that this atrocious human being is no longer alive, right MRAs?

- Mojo

Addendum. Mental illness is no defence. I am sick of seeing it claimed that because this person may have suffered from some sort of personality disorder (which, like the suicide itself, is unconfirmed), then she is absolved of responsibility for her own actions. BPD or not, she was clearly in control of her actions. She was of sound enough mind to articulate her hatred and to publish it online for the world to see what radical feminism looks like. It's amazing to see 'red pill MRAs' playing the old feminist game of denying women agency to allow them to escape accountability.

The religion of State.

W. F. Price found an anti-Semitic screed by a feminist who calls Jews, and especially Holocaust survivors, "Judenscheisse" ('scheisse' being the German word for 'shit'). This was published at mainstream site Jezebel. Pretty horrendous stuff, but what interests me is this section:
during a family dinner conversation about Terri Schiavo, my father made the serious request that should he fall into a vegetative state, he would like for us to keep him on life support indefinitely. Today he and I are estranged for a number of other reasons that are all somehow the same reason.
I find it bizarre that anyone would become estranged from their father because he mentions that he would prefer to live than to die, even in a coma. First of all, isn't that his decision to make, and no one else's? How can anyone else believe they have the right to decide whether another lives or dies - and how can anyone believe they are so entitled to make that choice, that they fly into a rage when that person disagrees?

But then I remembered that this is a feminist. Feminists are typically high-conflict, neurotic people, prone to drama, tears, and other histrionics, and fundamentally lacking in gratitude, even for those who raised them. Almost every feminist I have known has been estranged from her family, or has harbored a deep resentment towards them.

As I said in my post on penis envy, Freud wrote mostly nonsense but did stumble upon the occasional insight. In his book Civilization and its Discontents, he writes about the common man's psychological need for religion. Religion, for the common man, is:
the system of teachings and promises that on the one hand explains to him, with enviable thoroughness, the riddles of this world, and on the other assures him that a careful providence will watch over his life and compensate him in a future existence for any privations he suffers in this. The common man cannot imagine this providence otherwise than as an immensely exalted father.


The life imposed on us is too hard to bear: it brings too much pain, too many disappointments, too many insoluble problems. If we are to endure it, we cannot do without palliative measures.
Growing up involves the harsh realization that the world is cruel, not only in the acts of human beings, but also in nature. The father cannot protect the child, let alone himself, against all possible threats and fates. He cannot provide food in a famine, nor can he fight off armed soldiers who have come to deport him and his family to a concentration camp. We could all die unjustly, painfully, without compensation ever being paid. This jars with the earlier conception of childhood, the belief in the invincible father who acts as the child's personal bodyguard and benefactor.

Freud's point is that, having developed an association in early life with the protective father, we develop a 'schema' (to use later psychological jargon) that outlasts the actual father. To rescue ourselves from the distress that comes with realizing the cruelty of the world, and the impotence of the father, we simply construct a new father in his place: bigger, stronger, more powerful - in fact, infinitely powerful - and who is deeply interested in our plight on a personal level, who shows his love for us through suffering, and who promises that our good conduct will go rewarded, and the wrongs committed against us will be punished.

Religion, for Freud, is a defence mechanism; a way of insulating ourselves from cold, hard reality. But what about the new liberals, who believe in Reason rather than God? Does the psychological need for the immensely exalted father simply disappear when we give up religion?

Of course not, because religion is the effect, not the cause. Giving up God simply means that this need will have to be expressed elsewhere. And it is - in the new liberals' fanatical worship of the State.

With Nazi Germany in living memory, the Soviet Union having only just collapsed, and North Korea still in existence, the new liberals defy all history and morality and insist that the state is necessarily a force for good and must be strengthened in every way possible.

Rejecting God as the stuff of children's stories, they tell each other their own fables about the new father they are constructing. This father, like the old God, will provide for each one of his children, and cares very deeply about social justice.

And much like the religions of olde, Statism does not only provide and protect, it punishes, in the here and now, all those who refuse to bow down before the deity. It is well known by now that the USA incarcerates more people than any other country in the world. The state zealotry of new liberals is largely responsible for locking up more black men, as a percentage of the population, than South Africa did under apartheid. There are more people languishing in US prisons today, than people who did time in Stalin's gulags.

Don't look for logical purpose here; it's the effect of psychological dependency, the need for an omnipresent, omnipotent father. That explains why child support is to be extended until the 'child' is 26 under the new liberals' beloved Obamacare. Expect that number to creep higher and higher until it covers an individual's entire life. At that point, the new liberals will have established the eternally protective father in the form of the state. Until that point, all their achievements fall short.

It can't happen, of course - it's unsustainable, someone needs to actually be earning the money, there needs to be incentive, and so on. Yes, liberals make poor economists. But then they're starting from psychological needs, not economic first principles. That the world will not bend to their will shall not discourage them from trying to make it so.

How does this all tie in to feminists estranging themselves from their families? Like this: feminists too are dealing with the shock of the father being less than ideal, less than invincible, and so on. Their level of entitlement is even higher than the average new liberal, and the notion that they will not be eternally coddled is so fundamentally shocking to their way of thinking that they grow to hate the father (and the family by association), as if it is his fault for keeping his coddling from her - as though he could choose to coddle her eternally, but chooses not to.

The failure to agree with her ideologically is a failure to coddle; it's a failure to assure her of her moral rightness. While most people would simply accept the difference of opinion and move on, without letting the disagreement damage their relationship, the feminist is too immature to deal with another point of view. The existence of another viewpoint is threatening to her own. And her father's refusal to coddle her, to assure the big baby that she is sooo smart and enlightened and strong and independent, is taken as a personal attack.

Even when it concerns his own life, and his opinion is that he would prefer it to continue.

- Mojo

All sports, all the time.

I don't watch TV.

I don't even own a TV, because I could never get a chance to watch it when I was growing up, and for that reason I never got into it. My father dominated the TV through my youth, and still does so, rotting in his armchair, stuffing his face full of crisps and nuts and other shit he doesn't need, edging closer towards clinical obesity.

And it's all sports, all the time.

Because sports fucking matters.

It really, truly matters which team wins this time. Even though they will be playing against each other again in a few months, and then a few months after that, ad infinitum. This time it matters. And next time, too.

Football is shit. Soccer, American, Aussie Rules; I don't give a fuck. It's all total shit. Totally vapid, predictable, brainless, boring. A bunch of dicks kicking a piece of rubber around a field, and the occasional homoerotic group hug. The only thing I can think of that is worse than playing it is sitting there watching it.

Just look at yourself. You have endless admiration for the players (you spend your entire waking life staring at them, after all). They possess all the intelligence and sophistication of your typical cro-magnon, but I will concede that these so-called Sports Men are in good physical shape. You live vicariously through these athletic heroes while you sit there immobile for sixteen hours a day, your own strength and vitality draining away.

If you watch football, fuck you. You are not someone I will ever choose to associate with.

I cannot think of a worse way to waste your life than on this shit. Fans and pundits make it out like it's all some kind of epic struggle for supremacy. But there's no beginning, no middle, no end, no resolution, no final victory. It's no different than endlessly flipping a coin and cheering for heads, screaming in rage when it flips tails. And then you flip it again, and again, and again, and do the same thing. It's just like that, but on a bigger scale.

It's not just football. It's all sports, but football has the lion's share of my spite because of the neanderthals who play it and the neanderthals who celebrate them, lionising the degenerate, turning these pinheads not fit to sweep my street into folk legends. They spit and swear like common thugs, but holy shit, they can kick a ball, so let's make them multi-millionaires and exalt them as the best our nation has to offer.

Knowing how to kick a ball is not a 'skill.' Knowing how to kick a ball better than most other guys who kick balls just means you wasted more of your life learning how to kick a ball than they did.

Oh, and fuck you.

I went back home this weekend. As always, my father sits glued to the TV. What would he do without it? Probably suffer a mental breakdown. It's gorgeously hot outside; he sits in the dark, watching football or some other shitty inconsequential game played between a bunch of ignorant, overpaid assholes. My mother makes some lame joke about how he's going to enjoy the weather this summer. He makes some equally lame retort about taking the TV outside with him.

Yeah, or maybe you could get off your fat fucking ass and do something with your life.

Does nobody read books any more? Too hard, I guess. All those big words and no moving pictures to keep you entertained. Your rapidly shrinking pre-frontal cortex wouldn't be able to cope.

The TV remained on while we sat at the table for dinner (a disgraceful faux pas in my book). I managed to catch some of what was happening on one of the nonsense sports channels. It wasn't even a match, just some documentary on a team. One of the Sports Men was taking a nap and the others on his team decided to burst in and scream to wake him up. He woke up. They all laughed.

Oh, what a wit!

Then they were playing some engrossing game of catch and making whooping and hollering noises. Loud screams whenever one of them dropped the ball.

Fucking apes.

Then we cut to just after a match, and one of the Sports Men ran and skidded through a big puddle. The others went wild with cheering and laughing.

Oh, those Sports Men. What will they do next?

The fans are every bit as bad, what with their painted faces and high-school chants. Bunch of primitives, they even look and act the part. Get a life. Fucking bigfoot hunters are worth more than you.

I am glad that I don't own a TV. My father has led by example of what not to become. Just think, if not for his domineering control over the screen, I might now be staring, glaze-eyed into the idiot box, watching people richer and dumber than myself play children's games.

Because that's all football is.

A children's game.

If you watch children's games, then you need to grow up - and also, fuck you. Not sure I mentioned that yet.

As for me, I'm taking a walk outside on this beautiful summer's day. I shall find a nice patch of shade to sit in and read a fucking book.

- Mojo